By Heather Greaves
Reiki Teacher, Yoga Instructor and Holistic Counsellor
Expectations & Disappointments
I’m always “preaching” to my clients and students, “Let go of your attachments to anything including outcomes. You set yourself up for failure and disappointment when you don’t”. Believe me, I know first hand!
All day every day, we continually set realistic and unrealistic expectations on ourselves and those we come into contact with. When they don’t meet our expectations, we generally ‘re-act’ and feel upset and disappointed towards them. Many times they have no idea that you have placed your hidden agenda on them, which can create a very sticky situation.
Other times, we expect people to behave according to ‘social norms’ and when they don’t, we brand them odd, strange or unacceptable. This leads to avoiding contact with them, creating a kind of passive-aggressive tension that is affecting our way of life.
The key word, I suppose, is TOLERANCE. In my experience, our society has become very intolerant to anyone or anything that steps outside of the accepted box. This is leading to many beautiful, talented people feeling unappreciated and unwanted. With the media, government and society defining for us what is “normal” it is leading us down a dangerous path of conformity and “no-say.”
It is great to have rules & laws that are designed to protect us from harm. Yet, we know, we cannot always expect people will adhere to them, thus jeopardizing our sense of safety and security. We expect to be able to live our lives in the manner in which suits us individually and yet supports the whole.
So take a moment now and ask yourself, “What do I need right now that is unquestionable to live my life?” And, “How do/would it affect my life if I couldn’t have that?”… Did you answer a house; job; food; water; love; a partner; child…Yes, all of these things can bring great pleasure and deep pain in our lives based upon our attachment to them, but what is the one thing we expect to be able to do every second of every day of our lives that for most of we don’t even give it a thought?
To BREATH! It is the one thing that sustains our very being and the one thing that we absolutely cannot live without for more than 3 minutes at a time. Yet, most of us take for granted that the next breath will follow the previous one and so on, and so on…until “One Day” in the future when that will stop and we will cease to exist in our current form.
And, what if I told you that you actually can control your health and well-being by just taking 3-31 minutes a day to simply focus on your breathing? Letting go of all other distractions of disappointments from your unrealistic expectations and just be present with your breath will train your brain to let go of attachments to anything and release you from being disappointed. After all, the only REAL thing that happens to you in your life is you breath and you live. Everything else is just a story that you create and call “My Life.”